January          

  • A woman has defended filming a porn video at Travelodge. That’s just disgusting, I mean having to film at a Travelodge.
  • HS2 will reach London according to Chancellor Jeremy Hunt, and in other news Aylesbury is now a part of central London.
  • Should all Welsh pupils study maths to age 18?
    A survey of Welsh pupils aged 14-17 reported that 85% agreed, while the remaining 25% said no.

February

  • BBC News Feb 2023: “Virgin Orbit UK Spaceport launch shows just what this country can achieve on its own”
  • Fawlty Towers to return after 40 years – Just don’t mention the war.
  • NASA is monitoring a ‘killer’ asteroid size of ’38 Caribbean Flamingos’ that could hit Earth. Who knew that so many Caribbean Flamingos could cause that much damage?
  • I was today years old when I found out that there was a specific word to describe the banner that sits across the bottom of a TV screen during news reports; Chyron.

March

  • They are making a right old song and dance about Marcel Marceau’s 100th Birthday, which is ironic really.
  •  ‘Match of the Day’ is to air with no presenters or pundits. It just might be worth watching then?
  • James Blunt wanted to ‘punch himself in the face’ after ‘bad’ career moments. He could have just asked me.
  • That’s the thing I have learnt about paragliding is that you need lots of paraphernalia. Obvious really.
  • It’s a truth universal, that a cat sitting on a laptop keyboard can do more damage than any Chinese hacker.

April   

  • BBC News Apr 2023: “Virgin Orbit files for bankruptcy”
  • Snowdonia national park authority voted last year to use Yr Wyddfa and Eryri rather than Snowdon and Snowdonia after 5,000 people signed a petition calling for the change. While 500,000 tourists from England will still call it Snowdon.
  • A giant asteroid the size of 65 Peter Crouches set to slam into Earth’s orbit tomorrow. Did you know that a Peter Crouch was now a definitive standard of measurement?
  • The recruitment agent wanted my education on my CV. I doubt that an ‘O’ level in pottery from over 40 years ago would make a difference upon an application to be a Digital Transformation consultant – still never know.

May     

  • With all the news about what’s being going on with ‘This Morning’, it’s only a matter of time before someone comes up with the gritty drama or the more a likely Channel 4 or Channel 5 documentary.
  • “For heaven’s sake! Can’t you people just accept you are going to be poorer and shut the fcuk up”
    That was a party-political broadcast from the Conservative Party.
  • MPs investigating Boris Johnson say he “deliberately” misled the House of Commons when he spoke about gatherings at Downing Street during the Covid lockdowns. In other news; bears sh*t in the woods.
  • I’ve had many misfortunes in my life, but at least I can say that I have never been a fan of Ed Sheeran.

June   

  • The lack of recycled toilet paper in UK is ‘fuelling deforestation’ Less office waste material during Covid has led big lavatory roll makers to cut amount of recycled paper in tissues.
    In other words, go back to the office, have a poo there, and save the planet.
  • The hunt is now on for the next TV presenter sex scandal to replace the current TV presenter sex scandal
  • I was today years old when I learnt what enshittification means – make up your own punchline here.
  • It got to 5pm and I thought “Thank goodness it’s Friday tomorrow”
    It was still Wednesday Yeah, it was that kind of a day.

July

  • Nadine Dorries “I quit with immediate effect” Day 36
  • I know as it may feel that the whole world is going mad at the moment, but let’s sing the praises of the lad who lost his pregnant mum in a car crash, and now has walked 100km for the charity that saved him.
  • Why we ever need any TV drama that re-creates a horrific murder. What is wrong with this world?
  • Cycle to Work Day is the UK’s biggest cycle commuting event. Have you any idea how much mess I’ve made getting to cycle from the spare bedroom, down the stairs, through the kitchen and to the shed at the bottom of the garden?

August

  • Is anyone surprised that a Russian military commander that used questionable tactics to become powerful was – correction – has – been removed by a Russian President that used questionable tactics to become President?
  • Over-50s looking for work should consider delivering takeaways and other flexible jobs typically occupied by younger people, the work and pensions secretary has said. And in other news, they added that they can eat cake if they were hungry. That was a party-political broadcast from the Conservative Party
  • Have you ever owned or leased a Coracle between 1959-1969? Try our registration checker to see if your coracle was fitted with an emissions defeat device
  • “History will not judge you kindly” said Nadine Dorries. No, Nadine Dorries, “History will not judge you kindly”

September

  • Some people in Fishguard have objected to the new road calming measures, while others have asked how they will get their coracles to go at 20mph
  • Escaped convict Daniel Khalife has pleaded not guilty to his Wandsworth prison escape.
    When was the last time you blatantly took the piss?
  • AI solves the problem of how the rich get richer
  • Every 16-year-old in Britain could be signed up for ‘National Service’ scheme, under drive backed by Cabinet minister Penny Mordaunt. Wasn’t this a suggestion originally from ‘Yes Prime Minister’?

October

  • Today is the one day of the year when it is 10/10
  • Who would want spend seven hours going from Aberystwyth to Carmarthen regularly on a train?
    Asking for a BBC journalist who has nothing better to write about?
  • A former No 10 director of communications said while the government had a strategy, there was no covid pandemic plan. no shit, Sherlock.

November

  • Some say it was the most watched TV show in the world and that once they sacked their lead presenter, it was never going to be as good as it was. All we know is that Top Gear is no more. (and The Grand Tour)
  • The opening of a canal in Cardiff means that you could coracle all the way from Queen Street to Fishguard.
    Not sure why you would want to.
  • The UK Supreme Court has ruled that their Rwanda asylum plan is unlawful, Ministers say that there is a plan B, as HMS Intolerant is now patrolling the English Channel.
  • Meanwhile in the Middle East “I’m going to kill you because you killed my brother.”, “I’m going to kill you because I killed your brother.” And “I’m going to kill my brother and then kill you on the pretext that your brother did it.” Just don’t takes sides on the matter.
  • Sir Ian McKellen is going to play a Shakespeare role he’s never played before. I can’t wait for his take on Juliet.

December

  • I’m a Celebrity hosts Ant and Dec have called for ‘no more politicians’ on their show. I disagree, it’s about time we had more politicians humiliated by eating revolting food rather than spewing out their usual rhetoric.
  • What ever happened to Richard Gere’s father Gottler?
  • Christmas isn’t Christmas unless there are some pastry-filled charity singles in the charts.
  • Russian President Vladimir Putin has won a fifth term in office in an election to be held next year.
  • Aberystwyth Town Council unanimously voted to write a letter to UK Prime minister Rishi Sunak and American President Joe Biden to support an immediate and permanent ceasefire. Bless them, they mean well.