January          

  • I saw that 2022 was trending on Twitter – has anything awful happened? No – wait….
  • You can tell that you have had a good Christmas break when you can’t remember your work login password
  • BBC Wales TV Flashback – ‘A trip through time to look at the TV of the past’. Yeah, I saw that and it reminded me of a TV show that also took the micky out of TV clips made 20 years ago. Where does the BBC get their ideas from?
  • I see that Formula 1 is making some significant alterations to its rulebook for the upcoming 2022 season, and it looks like congratulations are in place for Max Verstappen on winning the championship again
  • It’s been two years and I still haven’t caught covid yet. It’s starting to feel like being picked last for the team in PE.
  • BBC Three’s style is described as “unfiltered, unapologetic and extraordinary” So that’s the same as Channel 4, but without any adverts then?
  • I see that the makers of Marmite are to cut 1,500 jobs worldwide. I bet that will leave a bad taste in the mouth

February

  • To demonstrate my outrage and indignation of the invasion of the Ukraine by Russia, I’m not going to buy or use anything Russian anymore. So that’s nothing then
  • So, is that it? The end of Covid? Perhaps the Prime Minister should throw a party to celebrate
  • I see that there is a campaign to get Welshpool twinned with Venice
  • I watched ‘The Apprentice’ and thought that it is totally unrealistic that you’d get such a number of incompetent and clueless clowns in the same room doing clearly stupid things. Then I watched the News reporting about the Government and thought; hold on…

March

  • I see that the price of first-class stamp is to rise to 95p! That’s astonishing. I’ve just had to email everyone I know and tell them
  • To demonstrate my outrage and indignation of Channel 5 dropping ‘Neighbours’ from its TV schedule, I’m not watch anything from Channel 5 anymore. So that’s no change then
  • The BBC news website has changed its navigation to; News, Bad News, Really Bad News, and Christ What’s Happened Now?
  • I think we’ve all been there. You’ve written a really, really important document and at the last minute all the content has to change

April   

  • Must concentrate and try and get in a solid half hour of hard work
  • Once upon a time, politicians were asked’ “How much is a pint of milk?” to see if they were in touch with the common people. Now the question is, “Who is Lorraine?”
  • The wife said that there was a funny incident on the ‘One Show’ last night.  – That would be a first
  • ‘The birthday cake never left its Tupperware box’ oh the humanity(!), don’t they know that there is a war on?
  • As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th season on TV, I would like to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode

May     

  • So, do the winners of Heard v Depp and Vardy v Rooney get to meet in the final?
  • Another school shooting in America and as the Republicans and the gun lobby constantly say; “Now is not the time to discuss gun control in America” – so when is it?
  • I see that Russia held their own song contest last night and President Putin came first, second and third
  • Who comes up with these event day ideas? World Naked Gardening Day is not the day for my wife to go outside and trim her bush
  • I wonder if the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard defamation trial will be turned into a film?
  • Ncuti Gatwa has been announced as the next Doctor Who. The hunt starts now on who will replace him
  • I’ve been diagnosed as having diabetes. Need to sit down with a strong cup of tea and five sugars and figure out what’s caused that 

June   

  • Have we travelled back to the 1970’s? inflation is through the roof, the country is at a standstill due to strikes, there is a heatwave, Russia and The West are at loggerheads, Top Gun is a box office hit and Kate Bush is top of the charts. Is history repeating itself?
  • As Oscar Wilde might have said, “As a Prime Minister, to lose one ethics adviser may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two looks like you are indeed unethical.”
  • It is a universal truth that there is always some Conservative minister on hand to say something crass and insensitive about somewhere or something

July

  • I thought that Brexit was only supposed to apply to foreigners, not for us to be stuck at Dover
  • Did anyone else see that episode of ‘Pointless’ where contestants had to name any cabinet ministers from the 2021 reshuffle? Rishi Sunak was a wrong answer and Liz Truss scored 3
  • I see that a national emergency has been declared because the sun is shining in July
  • July 14 marks Bastille Day in Fishguard, the day we remember all the Bastilles who are the French

August

  • I see Film 4 is showing ‘White Christmas’ – You have to love Channel 4 – always taking the piss
  • It’s so hot today I’m sweating more than a Conservative MP with a hidden past
    ITV2 4.00pm FILM: Star Wars IV. A young man fancies, then rescues his twin sister from their abusive father. Classic family entertainment

September

  • I see it is the end of the road for ‘Mock the Week’ on the BBC, no doubt be replaced with a new comedy show called ‘Isn’t the Government just great?’
  • Scientists at Fishguard College of Technology have worked out how to stop the extreme heat from climate change; simple – hold and Eisteddfod in mid-Wales
  • Coleen Rooney’s gone through hell, but who will play her in the inevitable ITV drama of the whole affair?

October

  • The hens of Fishguard have gone on strike as they say they are paid a poultry amount
  • Our next Prime Minister? A touching tale of the man who grew up to support sending refugees to Rwanda, who claimed to be a US resident to maintain a green card, and whose millionaire wife doesn’t pay her UK taxes
  • Larry the Cat has outlasted the last three British prime ministers

November

  • New £1.6m dental school in Bangor hopes to fill the gaps – Obvious really
  • The World Cup – Wales 0 – 2 Iran. They think it’s all over; it is now
  • The only time a politician should be televised in a survival-based entertainment show is when they are in the ‘Hunger Games’
  • The Government has solved the problem of the energy crisis by gaslighting everyone
  • The last ever tweet from Fishguard: Hugh Pugh: “What do you think of what Elon Musk is doing to Twitter?”

Mrs Hideous: “I think it’s absolutely disgusting”

Hugh Pugh: “But you are still going to post offensive tweets on it?”

Mrs Hideous: “Yes, I am”

December

  • I had ten (TEN!) meetings to attend today – I wouldn’t mind, but it’s my day off
  • We’re dreaming of the day when he is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant ‘Shame!’ and throw lumps of excrement at Jeremy Clarkson
  • This is the way the world ends; watching advert after advert after advert on YouTube to view the latest drone strikes and atrocities in Ukraine
  • When it comes to the winter of discontent and all the various strikes taking place, the Government will not negotiate with terrorists