• I’ve got a job lot of tennis rackets for sale. First come, first served
  • First rule of Thesaurus Club is; that you don’t talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club
  • I can’t wait to hear myself on the radio soon, though it’s nothing particularly new as I often hear voices in my head
  • If there is one thing I learnt in in history at school was that Anne Boleyn actually had a brother called Tenpin
  • I noticed some of my flowers have died. As a mark of respect, I went out and tied a member of my family to a lamppost