• Cars – Let’s face it, they are a bloody menace. Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat has now introduced a parking premium for all cars in Fishguard. and as an extra incentive – Coracles can park for free
  • Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat was said to be frustrated over the introduction of a tourist tax. He said that Fishguard was already poor enough without having to pay for tourists to come and visit
  • It’s reported that the Edinburgh TV Festival could leave Edinburgh amid concerns over costs and industry’s lack of working-class voices. Then why not come to Fishguard. Yes, Fishguard! Home of the international Fishguard Film Festival
  • Missing your favourite theme park? Why not come to Fishguard? Home of the Fishguard Tourist Pipeline and Ned Wassock’s World of Dark
  • Reports are coming in from all over Fishguard that Rasputin Twat and Angela Monkey have started filming the new James Bond film, ‘ A View to a Rhyl’
  • The UK’s first small nuclear power station will be built in Fishguard. Fissionable Atomic Reactions Technology (FART) will be able to power most of Fishguard on a good day and if the wind is in the right direction (but not in the way you are thinking)