• Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can I’m expecting the next film to have him surrounded by old cobwebs in the corner of a room
  • I uploaded a photograph of my girlfriend Gravel in a bikini on while on holiday. So far it’s got 23 yikes on Facebook
  • My birthday tomorrow and my Gran is very frugal and has sent me one of her old birthday cards, which is lucky really as I’d like to be 72
  • Many people have suggested that I should stand at the election, but I’m really quite comfortable sitting down
  • I can still remember the day when I realised when the ‘University Challenge’ teams on the telly were not actually on top of each other