• Farts. Let’s face it they all smell, but importantly according to Mayor of Fishguard Kenny twat they are warm and could be collected as a new heat source to heat homes in the winter
  • James Bond is set to be played by youngest star ever as Rasputin Twat has been seen in Fishguard
  • The 14:55 ferry from Fishguard to Roslare has been cancelled and there will be a replacement bus service
  • Speculation is rife in Fishguard over the news that Rasputin Twat might be the new James Bond and that the ‘Bond’ girl will be none other than Angela Monkey
  • Today the Mayor of Fishguard Kenny Twat met with the Mayor of Haverfordwest Hugh Janus and just talked smack at each other for 45 minutes