Category: Siadwel

Crufts, Pizzas & Rocks

On August 27, 2026

For all of those who are sad that Crufts is over for this year, don’t worry. Paracrufts starts in two weeks time
Just passed a pizza shop in Llansamlet and saw a sign in the window “50% off all 18 inch pizzas”. Surely that’s just a nine inch pizza?
As a little lad climbing over rocks at the seaside, my dad use to say “If you fall and break your legs Siadwel, don’t come running to me”
Nan said; “Keep your head down and nose clean at work Siadwel” Which was fine until I was sacked for picking my nose under the desk
Today I’m turning over a new page, what else can I say, I’m an exceedingly slow reader

Dyslexia, Gravel & Slippers

On August 27, 2026

These days I live with my Nan, when I say live with her, she just allows me to sleep under the stairs, which is hard as she’s in a bungalow
I went to the doctors this morning and I was diagnosed with the big “C”. Dyslexia
I’ve just broken up with my girlfriend Gravel and burned every single picture I had of her, now I need a new phone
Every morning when I walk into the kitchen, I always go flying across the tiled floor and land on my bum. I should stop wearing slippers
I’m still writing the next parts of my radio series. It doesn’t help when I have to tippex out any mistakes on the computer

Ribena, Dentists & Christmas

On August 27, 2026

I’ve been away for a while and now I’m back, and Nan says was never quite there in the first case.
Christmas dinner, a packet of cheese and onion crisps, a Twix and a bottle of Ribena. Quite lucky really as I have that every day.
For many years my mam said that my name was Noel, so at this time of year I thought all the Christmas cards were really my birthday cards
Nan got me a tablet for Christmas, which is quite lucky really as I had a headache and needed a Paracetamol
I hate going to the dentists but I was in so much pain with a bad tooth I thought I best just go and grit my teeth and get it pulled out

Nan, Ofsted & Christmas

On August 21, 2026

Nan is very house proud and is always cleaning. She says that the toilet is so clean I can eat my dinner off it
I see that teachers don’t like Ofsted giving their schools one-word reviews. Ironic really when teachers have been giving kids one letter reviews for years
“So this is Christmas and what have you done?”
Seriously, what have you been doing all year? I’ve been round at Nan’s eating some of her bottom scrapings
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? I really can’t tell as I’m deaf in one ear and have tinnitus in the other
Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away – that’s really irresponsible of you given the state of the NHS, and I had to find a new heart to replace mine

Toenail’s, A Levels & Nan

On August 21, 2026

A very unpleasant person recently told me to go back to where I came from but my dad’s testicles are a really bit old and wrinkled now
My big toenail came off the other day, so I put it under my pillow and sure enough the Toenail Fairy came in the night and gave me a shiny 50p
Really looking forward to some of Nan’s Christmas dinner. This year she has promised only the best of her bottom scrapings
Don’t worry if your A level results aren’t what you were hoping for. My granddad started off on the factory floor and after 25 years of hard work was made redundant
When I was little, my parents couldn’t afford sky, often as not I’d be locked in the cupboard under the stairs and I would imagine that the cobwebs were clouds

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